As a mum of 4 I’m quite often in too much of a hurry to go softly softly with my children when they are causing a fuss,
especially over something self-inflicted.  Although, as you read on you’ll see why I have changed my views on what is
actually so called ‘self inflicted’.
This is what I wrote up after a fantastic tapping session with Thea, my 9 year old eldest daughter, and for those not so familar with that term, by tapping I mean EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques, which basically put is talking about specific events/emotions etc to keep focusing on the problem, whilst  tapping on  ancient acupressure points).
Thea was desperate to have her ears pierced for years, which I really didn’t want to happen. I managed to hold off until
she turned 9. She was prepared for the pain, but obviously it was still a banging shock when it happened. After the 1st ear
had been done she was frozen in shock, and only when I told her that she could cry if she wanted to, she sobbed and let
me cuddle her. She let the lady pierce the 2nd ear and felt proud of herself.
She did a job of keeping them clean, and after 8 weeks we took them out to change to new pretty ones and she almost
fainted with fear. She kept on holding her throat saying she couldn’t breathe and was panicking. We hadn’t even removed
them and she was absolutely traumatized. Not like her at all. She likes to make sure we know she is brave & tough
normally.
To cut the story shorter here – I established that Thea was actually in fear of the clipping sound of the butterfly clip at the
back being removed, not the pain. We managed it, but it wasn’t pleasant for her. Even though we tapped for all sorts, she
still had fear and she was not happy.
Two weeks later she really wanted a different pair in, but was still super scared. We tapped and brought it down from a 7
to a 5. But each time I tried to progress it kept shooting back up.
I would stop and we’d tap some more. We tapped for the shock of the initial piercing, the pain, the disapproval of me not
wanting her to have it done, the worry about it hurting again, her concern that removing them would split her skin. Nothing
seemed to have a positive effect. So, at a loss at that point, we continued to tap and I asked “When I hear the clipping
sound it reminds me of…” Every time I said the word clipping she would melt down and curl up. A big reaction for the
minuscule sound of the tiny clipping noise when removing the back.
Didn’t cut the story that short did I!
Anyyywaaay…. after asking a few more times she said “I don’t like the clipping sound and being pulled”.
There was the key word that helped us move forward!
Her birth was a 40 hour one. After 30 or so hours they fitted a fetal scalp clip (a corkscrew shaped needle) to her head
whilst still inside the birth canal, so that they could monitor to make sure there wasn’t a lack of oxygen. I had an
episiotomy and a failed ventouse (suction cup that should have pulled her out, kind of like a sink plunger attached to her
head!) She was so stuck that it left her inside, and also left a nice big bruise on the top of her hairy head. They then used
forceps to pull her out, finding the cord wrapped round her neck 3 times, so they cut that whilst she was still inside, only
her head out. Lots of clipping for a poor little baby. They then pulled her out, but by that time she was heavily starved of
oxygen and had to be resuscitated back to life. I was in a poor state myself and asked for her to be taken away as I no
longer wanted her. I was also angry at myself for not managing the intervention free labour that I wanted, and also guilty
for possibly putting her at risk for my own benefit – a desire for a natural delivery.
She had never been told of these details for obvious reasons, but what I did with her was to talk her through what
happened whilst tapping through what I’ve just told you here, stopping at points when she interjected words like “were
you screaming?” “They pulled my head” “so I could have died”…
It took the number down to a 3 and I was able to do the earring change with little problem. Obviously we still need to
work on this further, but it’s great to find a little link to help guide us in the right direction!
I am going to tap with all of my girls’ birth stories. It may help Kitty (one of my twins who clings to me like a koala and
gets separation anxiety.) She was the 1st born twin and spent a little time in a side cot straight after birth whilst I
delivered the 2nd baby.
All figures hey?!
As a quick follow up, Thea continued to tap on a special bear that night when she went to bed. Tapped along to her
personal thoughts. The following morning she really didn’t feel any anxiety about it all. Fantastically, but frustratingly at
the same time, she thinks it wasn’t that bad after all! She is now a 0 on the scale & changes her earrings with no problems.
We have talked about tapping further for her pregnancy, birth and onwards (and prior!). She said “well there’ll be plenty
there to tap on!”
Before I go further with my other girls births I want to work my own side of the birth story before I work with them.
It may be totally fine to work directly with them, as Thea’s was the only traumatic one for me and we worked well tapping
together about it. BUT I still have things that I couldn’t say to her and would be good to work that through.
My other births were wonderful for me, but still traumatic for the babies.
I really want to take this so much further. I now can’t believe that we all start our lives in pretty much the same traumatic
style and then continue to build issue after issue as we understate the trauma of the birth for a baby. For a lot of babies, I
believe that stroking, patting, cuddling, rocking and loving bonds help to release the trauma for the baby, through
clearing blocked energy channels and releasing all important oxytocin – I believe this happened for my other 3 daughters,
but Thea had a mum with post-natal depression who couldn’t breastfeed properly and didn’t want to attempt to bond with
her baby for over a year.  We’re still working on these extra issues, but now we know where to start the next phase of our
journey!

Yours with great enthusiasm,
Jay